Connection vs Attachment

There is ample discussion about the hazards of loneliness and the epidemic of loneliness that engulfs society today. The latest article I read covering this topic wrote about how those fifty and older are still operating well below the pre-covid level of engagement in their social endeavors. What gets lost in some of the discussions about loneliness are the differences in the types of interactions we can have that fulfil this very human need. Humans are a unique species. One of the things that makes us unique is that we learn to do most of what we do in life. The other species have their behaviors ingrained in them and tend to not have the option of choice. This is not to say intelligence is the sole domain of humans but only to point out differences among the different species. One is not necessarily better than the other. One of the downsides of this for us humans is that we can seek, and find, comfort in things that are not healthy and even distressing for us. This frequently manifests itself in the arena of our social matrixes. It is easy to form attachments to unproductive people, relationships, and situations without even being connected to them. Semantics are important when we deal with thriving and growth. We humans are the only species on Earth capable of this as far as we know. When we have a connection with someone, this is a conscious choice. This only happens when we are clear about who we are, what we want, and the direction we want to travel. We must be transcendental, in a healing and creative mode. This is where we are authentic and expressing that energy. Not everyone will connect to you in this space because everyone does not occupy this space. Most people occupy the space of lack. This is where attachments are formed. Attachments are formed subconsciously usually in the space of an attempt to fulfil an unsatisfied emotional void we have internally that is not being met. This is not the healthiest space to occupy. It is not only unfair to the other party or situation, but it ultimately does not lead to engagement and fulfilment. It only leads to an increased need for what is being unmet. You have a say in the signal you generate thus you have a say in the types of connections you create. If you fail to be accountable for this, you will form attachments instead. Attachments are perilous to your wellness because you empower an external source for your own wellness. When this item of attachment is threatened or removed, you and your sense of self are also threatened. By building oneself from within, with high quality internal connections and by self-satisfying ones own emotional needs, you avoid attachments and choose high fidelity connections. This is much harder to accomplish than these paragraphs make it out to be, but it is the target we all strive to hit whether we are aware of this or not. One will never not make irrational choices in life, to err is human, but we can become better calibrated to minimize the cost our irrational choices will have on our existence. It starts with understanding the differences between connections and attachments.