Human Connection is Becoming Uncomfortable For Many

 Authenticity is something many people struggled with even before the social media tsunami that hit many of us. The reason why authenticity is an obstacle for many of us is because we are just not aware of it nor work towards it. Many will in fact profess that they are real, or keep it real, but what is real is subjective and being authentic is more than just keeping it real. Being authentic means being ok with being vulnerable and that for most is just something we are wholly conditioned to avoid.

When the social media brigade hit, it hit with a force few of us have witnessed. I will be the first to admit that I never thought it would take off the way it has but research has many explanations as to why it has. Humans are social animals. Yes, we are just another species of animals that have been struck with the randomness of the blessing of the prefrontal cortex. This lets us create dreams and goals and work to achieve them. It has also enabled us to evolve and develop that most human attribute, empathy which is the social adherent that enabled us to form the complex social groups that helped us to our place in the animal kingdom today. We all are hard wired for connection. Not just any connection, but emotional and intimate connection. It is a fabric of our well being. It is why we have survived. We are living in an epidemic of loneliness and research shows that loneliness can de deadlier than any other illness or disease we can be exposed to.

Social media subconsciously speaks to this need of connection. The problem is it doesn't satisfy the need. Our social and emotional needs are only satisfied by face to face interaction. By hearing someone's voice on the phone. By observing someone else's posture and body movement. Social media does not provide the platform for brain synchronization and emotional mind sharing that in person interactions do.

As a consequence of our use of social media our interpersonal skills suffer because there is no method of practice to strengthen them and we can easily get caught up in a vicious cycle where we are going to social media to get something we don't get, but don't realize that it can not provide it. As this negatively impacts our emotional well being we gravitate more to the media only to have it perpetuate this emotional downward trend.

In addition, as we gravitate more to social media and it method of 'connecting' the real life face to face interactions and connections that we actually want become harder and more uncomfortable for us to do because they are no longer our norm. The status quo has changed and when happens we are not ambitious to get out of our comfort zones. It doesn't matter whether it is healthy for us or not. Our brains do not make distinctions between good or bad habits.

 I am not attempting to villainize social media, but to put forth the potential perils it can bring about by bringing awareness to some things we all should be aware of.  Neural plasticity changes occur rapidly and these changes will become permanent (habits) quicker than most can realize. Going to social media outlets for emotional fulfillment and validation is a bad habit. One that is unhealthy and potentially detrimental to one's well being. Mindfulness is our ally. Use it to be conscious of why and what you are doing the next time you log in.

#elliotyi

#paradigmleft

#habits

#mindset